WARNING!

In my sermon today I’d like to warn you about the most contagious and distressing disease known to man. And I say man, because it does seem to be mostly men who are afflicted. This terrible disease is capable of rendering seemingly intelligent, mature men weak at the knees after driving 70 miles (yes, I do have carbon guilt) to sniff a flower which smells of cat’s pee. (There’s a reason for this beyond pure insanity). Other common symptoms are lying on your stomach in a marsh, or in heathland (which doesn’t sound too bad until you remember the ants – ouch). This terrible disease is Orchid Fever. I’ve got a bad case. And yesterday’s Man Orchids (Orchis anthropophora) just made it worse.