Turning Twenty.

Now, I think when you get to any landmark type age you begin to follow these steps:

Firstly: You're in complete denial about it even happening. You just dont think about it. And when people bring it up, you say 'Oh god, don't remind me!'

Secondly: You're terrified. You pace around in your head all the things you would of done differently in the past ten years and how you just wish you told so many more people to just fuck off. (even though I told quite a few)

and Thirdly: Acceptance. Knowing this is how it's going to be and there's nothing you can do because getting older is how it goes, and it's okay.

Tomorrow I turn 20 years old. Which for many of you may seem like nothing. In fact I bet most of you are thinking you wish you were 20 again. But turning 20 isn't just an age thing (well sort of), it's more like the completion of a decade of a lot of things I'm pleased to say goodbye too. I feel like it's almost new year and I should be making new resolutions for the decade a head. 

In my teenage years I've done a lot. I've mostly become who I am today through extremely hard days. I've had 3 boyfriends (Lee being number 3), I've had my heart broken more times than I should of allowed, I went to school, made best friends for life, found my love for art even though every said I wasn't good enough, I struggled with my anxiety and depression when I was older. I basically found myself. And as shitty and cliche as that sounds, I did. I really did. I am a new person now. I am stronger, braver and more beautiful then I ever thought I could be. Not many people would admit to it, but I am so unbelievably proud of myself, more than I could ever express. 

I've decided I am more than ready to start my years in my 20's. I'm over being a teenager. I'm more than just a girl with black hair and bad taste in clothes, I'm more than just braces and pirate films. I'm ready to start my life now, as the profoundly grown up version of what I was. Wish me luck. 

Happy Blipping.