Down to business

'With humour, a nice smile, and a lovely pair of soft hands, you can achieve pretty much most things,' said Geraldine to her disbelieving children in an effort to give her youngest two a piece of good advice that would feed them through the day.

'Why soft hands?' asked little Enid, bean juice stuck around her mouth in a holding position.

'And why a pair?' asked a far too smart for his own good Archibald.

'Because...' said Geraldine, her happy halo slipping down like melting butter by a hot fire.

'And your hands are rough Mummy,' offered a helpful Enid just as the toaster offered up a burnt offering.

Geraldine buttered the burnt toast energetically, each swipe of thick calories designed to regain her happy mood.

'Poo Mummy,' bellowed Enid, 'I want a poo!'

'Arthur!!!' shrieked Geraldine, 'Arthur!!!!!!'

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