Fade to grey

'Does it work? Are they happier dead?'
'Sometimes. Mostly, no. It's like the people who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.'

Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

I see what he means. And I know I should stop regretting that I left Germany. I should realize that I was fleeing myself. I should stop thinking everything will be good when I go back. I just can't get rid of myself.
But the mind is a strange thing.