A one-sided conversation

Oi! Can I ask you a question? Are you going to eat all of those chips? No? Never mind. No, that wasn't the question. The question was, "Have you ever wondered why you've never seen a dead seagull?" No, those didn't count. Well, since you asked, I'll tell you... It's the Secret Seagull Graveyard. Like with the place Where Elephants Go To Die. Only they go to Madagascar. Oops! That's meant to be a secret. Don't tell anyone. Or don't tell anyone that I told you... I dunno... Maybe they swim? But with us gulls, we have our own Secret Place. I'll tell you where if you give me a chip? No? Well, it's Billericay. Oops! You tricked me into giving that away! Don't tell anyone. Or don't tell any... are you really going to eat all those yourself?

Yep. We are on holiday! And, in a special, never to be repeated, Summer Special offer, comments are back on. But don't feel that you have to comment. I mean, our relationship, our special relationship, has changed while I've been hiding. We are quite comfortable with the silence now...

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