Overheard on the bus

A teenage girl is talking to her friends, they're all looking at their phones.

'Oh my god, does your mum ever do this thing? It's so embarrassing, I'm literally 'Will you STOP that!! Oh my god it's literally the worst thing ever.'

As a mum of a 14 yr old girl, I'm suddenly agog, my ears are flapping. If I can avoid committing this one heinous crime I can surely spare my girl 'The Shame'.

'She literally texts like this' girl mimes holding phone in left hand while prodding keyboard with index finger of right hand.

Friends all nod and cringe in recognition 'oh my god' yelps one, 'my mum's worse. She literally stops like in the middle of the road and she's like, 'let me check my phone.' Again that mime. Phone in one hand. Prod prod, tap tap with the finger.

I look down at my hands. My left hand holding my phone. My right index finger jabbing at the keypad. Jab jab, prod prod ..

Sorry children. You freakishly fast-texting, double-jointed, overly-evolved opposable-thumbed humans.

My name is PeckhamBelle and I mum-text.