Black Grape It?s Great When You?re Straight, Yeah

Black Grape 'It's Great When You're Straight, Yeah' (Radioactive Records, 1995)

In 1995 I was caught up in the whole Britpop scene that was taking the country by storm. There were some great records that came out around that time; The Charlatans' self-titled album, still their best in my opinion, and Oasis' '(What's the Story?) Morning Glory' were both on heavy rotation. Unfortunately, Black Grape's debut was not a great record. It's a mish mash of incoherent influences and genres with a pair of junkies rambling found lyrics on top. Shaun Ryder is very proud of this album, seeing it as a bit of a stick in the eye to his former Happy Mondays cohorts, particularly his brother. I would recommend reading Shaun's entertaining autobiography, 'Twisting my Melon', and avoiding this record. Shaun is much more interesting as a character than his music has ever been. People will disagree with this opinion, and many have, but I really dislike The Happy Mondays and Black Grape are even worse. I think they might even be worse than his collaboration with the abhorrent Albarn with Gorillaz. What I dislike about Shaun's music is what it represents and who it attracts. It's junkie music for neds. I know that makes me sound like a snobby posh boy, but I suppose that's what I am and I don't understand the glorification of being a complete moron.

In 1995 I saw Oasis at Irvine Beach and both The Charlatans and the Stone Roses at the Barrowlands. Those gigs attracted the usual mixture of e heads, stoners, football casuals, hardmen and students. Everybody at those gigs were there to enjoy themselves and everybody communed and celebrated the great music they were experiencing.

In 1995 I saw Black Grape at Livingston Forum and it was full of scum. The Forum was a mid-sized cattle shed located in the middle of the central belt that mainly hosted Fantazia type raves, but was the venue for a few gigs in the mid 90's, perhaps the most strange being Ice T and the Exploited. It was inaccessible and the only way to guarantee getting there and back was going on the bus put on by the ticket shop. I'm a bit unclear about this, but I think my girlfriend and I caught the bus from Glasgow and Kay met us there and got a lift from my mum. The bus was a nightmare; scarred faces blurred with white stilettoes and Buckfast fuelled screams.

Bug eyed maniacs greeted us outside the venue and more pasty faced Golems hugged the shadows inside. Stolen Stone Island jackets were illuminated by glowsticks and puke and piss flowed freely on the sticky floor. For the first time since my Anthrax experience in 1987 I was genuinely scared at a gig. There was none of the laddish camaraderie I'd experienced at similar gigs; it was threatening and you didn't want to meet anybody's eyes for fear of some unjustified retribution.

My sister picked a fight with a squash faced mini dress clad hag who kept bumping into her and when her Frankenstein's monster of a boyfriend got involved we beat a hasty retreat to the back of the hall. Black Grape were rotten. Absolute nonsense of the highest degree delivered by an incoherent and slurring Ryder. The gurning mob lapped it up. I won't bore you with the horrible details of the bus journey home; needless to say it was purgatory.

I hate this band, their fans and their records.

Peace