Quite satisfying truth.

So this is how I look like now. I'm pretty satisfied.
Twenty months ago I looked like this. And almost the same I looked six months ago.

What happened?
Well.. For long I've tried to loose weight. I've tried to not eat sweets etc., exercise more, eat salad, obey some "quick weight losing" diets.... Sometimes I lost few kilos but soon they came back. For long, (or maybe always?) I've not liked the one looking me from the mirror. I've almost hated her. I've been shamed of myself and the way I look. I've not weared the clothes I want, because they have not looked good on me or they don't sell as big sizes which fits me. I've been dreaming of slimmer look and self-esteem for years.

In the beginning of last year, I decided to loose weight. And I did loose few kilos. Around the New Years evening something happened in my mind and I just decided that it's now or never. If I don't loose my weight now, I'm not gonna do it ever. I can't descripe the feeling in my mind, it was just a powerful feeling that now it's gonna happen.

First I obeyd a diet from one book, it was just normal food but there was recipes etc. ready so I only had to cook the food like the recipes said. I went to gym also more often. I lost few kilos. Then I got an idea: what if I tooked a personal trainer for me? The idea felt scary but interesting. I googled personal trainers at the city I'm living and found many women pt:s but they didn't feel right. I found pages of one man who's a personal trainer. He got me interested. I just was scarred to take contact to him because he was a big muscular man. But I did sent him e-mail. My heart was bouncing when I saw he had answered to me.. He wanted to be my pt. I was happy. And scarred. Such an absurd situation. I got an pt ! ME! What...

He was busy, so we couldn't start training immediately. He made me food and exercise programs to gym. And finally, at end of April we met first time. I was so scarred.. :D But after a while at the gym I wasn't anymore. He seems like a nice man. I have a good feeling about this.

Before we met, we had decided that our goal is -20kilos in six months. He suggested it and it was fine for me. I didn't have in my mind a "goal weight", because I wanted to loose weight so much that I didn't feel bad about myself anymore, so it was okey for me. It felt absurd that I could loose some much kilos. But I'm so motivated. I know I can do it. There's no other option.

I've now been obeying his food and exercise programs scrupulously for six months. There's been only few aberrations and almost all of them where planned. We've seen with the pt once in every two weeks, rest of the times I've been exercising myself.

I didn't have any problems of obeying the programs, it's been easy for me all the time. My body has been co-operative until the last month. Then it didn't want to loose kilos anymore. We tried to make changes to diet and add even more exercising but the body wasn't co-operative anymore. So today, when the six months have gone, the final is -19kilos. (Well, today -18,9kilos but couple of days ago -19kilos).

I want to share the results with you: 
(the first is compared to 6months and second to the numbers when this picture wastaken.)
Weight: -18.9.kg,  -29.2kg
Breast: -8.5cm, -14cm
Arm: -4cm, -6cm
Leg: -12cm, -16.5cm
Hips: -16.5cm, -22cm
Ass: -15cm, -22.5cm
Waist: -15.5cm, -20cm
Stomach: -17.5cm, -30cm

Totally I've lost 131 centimeters of fat.

I went on March to body composition test. I went there two days ago also. And the results were stunning. I've lost fat alot but kept my muscles!!
I've lost -18.7 kilos of fat and only -0.4 kilos of muscles !! My visceral fat has dropped -74.7 units. And all this in half year!! :) I can be proud of myself!

I'm feeling good now. I'm quite satisfied of the person who looks at me from the mirror. I love to visit cloth stores and fit clothes. I don't need to leave the stores tears in my eyes because anything didn't look good on me if they even had as big clothes that fit me. (But have to say that loosing weight is not cheap, because you have to buy everything in new size!! :D ) I'm proud of myself. I did it. I did it myself. No one else did it to me, it was me. Of course with the help of my super nice and profiecient personal trainer and Otto's assist. I got my self-esteem back. Well, I'm not sure I ever had it but now I have. I've learned that I can get satisfaction from other things than from the food. I've found an joy of exercising, I love going in the gym.

Now the "easiest" part is done and the hardest is coming: how to stay fit? I'm going to use the pt services also in the future. I want to get more muscles and continue going on gym. I've found an interest in running and will continue it also. We'll see what's gonna happen.. :)

So, this is the new me, pleasure to introduce myself to you.