All I want for Christmas is...

... a mug with a handle shaped like a zebras head that's so impractical you spend Boxing Day in A&E with scalded genitalia.
Nope, I've never heard anyone put that on their wish list either.

I am really looking forward to Christmas, but today's outraged indignation was courtesy of the Christmas Markets 'Pie & a Pint' stall... for £10.

Robbing arse holes.