Things that go bump in the night...or day

So where, I live the walls are very thin. This means you hear all kinds of noises. I was just having a wash and was about to lick my leg, when the neighbour came home and slammed his door! It was so loud, for a moment I thought someone was coming in to the flat! I had a quick look to see what was going on and was frankly outraged to be disturbed.Shut up stupid human! Now where did I leave off?