Observe

For some reason, I seemed to accumulate these as a child; the "Observers" series of books designed to help identify the various wonders of the natural world that do not exist anywhere in the West Midlands. I can only presume I got them in a fit of optimism. Weather? It rains all the bastard time. Trees? Yes, those are the plastic things we hang stuff off at Christmas. Wild flowers? We dealt with all of those by building that warehouse/bypass/retail park. Birds? Maybe if you go to Walsall on a Friday night. Wild animals? Molineux after a bad result is like a minor course in zoology. Sea fishes? Only if they took a serious wrong turn somewhere.

I'm not sure why they didn't find some more useful editions to publish. How about the Observer's Book of Concrete? Dying industries? Car parks? Offensive weapons? I'd have been in an observer's paradise.