For Stu Sugarman
I went for a walk in the woods on behalf of Stu Sugarman today, trying to know what death is, looking for a nature-y photograph because Stu was a nature-y kind of guy. It has stopped raining for a little while, and the hillsides are bursting with trillium. Salmonberry blossoms overhang the streams, warblers roll out full-throated songs, and round-eyed pygmy owls small as children's fists dart secretly in and out of knot-holes. Rainwater trickles, gathers, and gushes. Fronds uncurl, vines reach and twine, moss-heads wave their seeds, and every stick, no matter how insignificant, shoots out tiny leaf-buds of vibrant green potential. All things rush to become what they want to be, and the brown streams are heavy with life.
One person is missing.
Pete Shaw posted this Woody Guthrie song performed by Billy Bragg & Wilco for Stu, and I’ve got it on Replay.
Sometimes I think I’m gonna lose my mind
But it don’t look like I ever do.
I loved so many people everywhere I went
Some too much, and others not enough.
Well I don’t know, I may go
Down or up or anywhere
But I feel like this scribbling might stay.
Maybe if I hadn’t seen so much hard feelings
I might not could’ve felt other people’s,
So when you think of me, if and when you do
Just say, “Well, another man’s done gone.”
Well, another man’s done gone.