Life in Newburgh on Ythan

By Talpa

The Universe.

To keep myself fruitfully occupied over the last few wet, windy and cold days I have been developing a new theoretical model of the Universe. It incorporates all the details of the latest findings about bosons, bisons, gravitrons, string theory, gravitational waves, dark matter, dark energy and all the rest. My calculations, performed on my old school slide-rule and accurate to 2 decimal places, show that the ancients were correct; the Universe is indeed geocentric with all the celestial bodies that make up the Universe rotating around the Earth! Who would have thought it; it appears that Galileo Galilei was wrong after all and the Roman Inquisition were right!

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