Journal of a Jessica

By Wallflower

Fresh Air.

After the drunken antics at Beth's house last night; Courtney, Catherine and I decided to go for a walk along the river at 7 o'clock this morning - it most certainly helped clear our heads. The rest of today has been spent sleeping, as I got no sleep at all last night; instead I stayed up and watched the Inbetweeners. From what I can remember, it was a good night. Courtney came over this afternoon, and then we wandered off to meet Beth for an hour, which was followed by me packing for my little holiday that I'm going on tomorrow.

I haven't exactly made an effort with my journal recently, so here's a little update on what's been going on in my sad, little life: School is finally over and the Summer holidays have begun! I don't think I've ever been so relieved to have six weeks of freedom, I plan on making the most of it - I can assure you. I'm re-taking my A-Levels, it's all been sorted out with my teachers and I'm quite excited about starting again next year. I'm taking different lessons; Applied Science, Art, Textiles and Sociology (I did Sociology last year, but I really liked it so I'm carrying on with that). It's such a relief to have it sorted out, so I don't have to spend the holidays worrying about next year.

There are some people who clearly don't have the time for me anymore, and a friendship works both ways - I'm not making more of an effort to be friendly with anyone if they're just going to mess me around. But I'm happy, really happy. Everything seems so clear and calm; there's no drama, no arguing with anyone, just peace. So if some of my 'friends' are going to carry on treating me like they are now, then it's their loss. I couldn't give a damn about false friends, I've had enough of those to last me a lifetime. Things with my family are awful... I refuse to talk to my Dad's side of the family for reasons I'd rather not talk about (apart from my Dad, he means the world to me) - I seriously don't want to be considered as part of their family. Things with Mum aren't good either, we just find it impossible to get along with each other because of him. I never have alone time with her, I never even get the chance to sit down and have a conversation with her for goodness sake without him demanding her full attention. I really, really hate him. I despise being in the same house as him, I don't know how long I can stand the whole "I-have-a-new-boyfriend-so-let's-pretend-my-daughter-doesn't-exist" situation. But Mum's happy, so I suppose I'll just have to deal with it.

I don't think there's anything else that I need to talk about. I'm sorry for boring you all with my sad, pathetic 'problems'.

- Carry on my wayward son, for there'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more.

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