A little drop of ambition
I'm trying to find the right words for how I feel.
Sad is one word.
What I feel is that I am missing. That parts of me are missing perhaps.
I'm overwhelmed by duty, guilt and responsibility. I'm finding it hard - impossible almost - to separate out my parts and be the me I know.
I'm not really doing anything creative at the moment. I'm lost. I used to have music and writing in my life regularly. I used to take photos every day. I used to write a blipfoto entry every day. I used to have an identity that included all those things and I feel that identity has blurred.
I need to get me back because the me me that's creative and who looks after herself backs up the other mes. I didn't realise it until I started to crack.
As I say, I'm overwhelmed. I can't find the words. It's all feelings. I think it would take me hours to write something that made sense. And I don't have hours. I don't even have minutes.
I thought going out in the rain with my camera and battling the guilt that I should be doing something else would be a start.
I used to be creative every day.
I also used to be a lot less sad.
Those 2 things seem to be connected.