Facing facts

We took off to Manchester today for a mooch and some lunch.

Over lunch it hit me. I am depressed again. And have been for a while.
Angus agreed, said he had realised.
We spoke about it for a little while.
I'm irritable, close to tears, always tired, withdrawn and finding work and motivating myself a real struggle.
I'm definitely drinking too much as well, every day.
I'm disconnected from my family.
I have no spring in my step. I want to hide away, sleep preferably. I have been avoiding blip and a million other things in my life.
My personal affairs are a jumbled mess.

My work is a culprit and having taken someone new on and a PA recently I'm really hoping that will start to ease some of the stress and relentless workload I have created for myself.

Being the breadwinner at home also comes
with quite a responsibility and angst. It's not easy to step off the hamster wheel when you're the only one working.

It's probably my hormones again too but I can't escape the feeling that the 'feeling bad' times seem to be massively outweighing the 'feeling good' times lately. I'm still on medication and have been filling out some diaries on my symptoms to take to the doctor at her request which I will be handing in this week.

So there you have it.
I've admitted it so myself. Oh and I told by Mum. Sure signs that it's about to improve. Only when I recognise it, can I lift the fog. Wish me luck.