'A Grief Observed'

For a time I had a really bad feeling, not sadness but in addition to.
I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it eventually it dawned on me what it was. It was fear! Fear not of being alone, but what I would now have to do alone, without Shiv.
Until this point I had not come across a link between fear and grief in any of the literature I had been reading on grief and bereavement.
I searched online and found a quote by C.S Lewis, the writer of the Chronicles of Narnia. He lost his wife to cancer, but there the similarities end. He wrote a little book called ' A Grief Observed'. I bought it and for the first time felt that here was someone who understood.
He doesn't offer a solution, there is none. It's just his thoughts, how much he loved her.
He seemed to be thinking and feeling the same things as myself. For example, I have never considered that I am now not married to Siobheann. We did not choose to be separated, there was no divorce, so why should I feel that I am not still married to her?
He writes about these thoughts in this little book, and much better than I ever could.