rant in style of Daliy Mail

At this time of year, people decide it's a great idea to invite a bunch of people, who have nothing in common, for Xmas drinks and nibbles.....Why do I always get stuck with the tossers? One day I really will tell someone "I don't give a fuck how much your house has increased in value" This guy was the most boring, boring person I have ever had the misfortune to meet.

And then I had to make small talk with the eejit who told me just how bad the food is here, and just how good it is in his own country. I had to really bite my tongue so that I didn't get all Daily Mail and tell him to get back to his own country. He's not a political or religious refugee. He's not been persecuted under an unsympathetic regime. He's here because he found himself a good job (which actually lots of people here could do).

I mean...if you are in another country, even if you don't like the food (and quite frankly that is an area that takes a lot of adjustment) would you not just have the good grace to shut up about it. I didn't point out to him that his countrymen are a bunch of soap dodging hypochondriacs after all, did I? No, of course I didn't, I'm British and polite.

in other news; how great is Peter kay?