Fun and Games?!

Well - you couldn't make up all the elements that happened today. I'll try and make it brief!
First I slept thru messages on my phone telling me youngest daughter had been released early could I go pick her up! I did wake up to Friends call on my mobile letting me know! We have become so reliant on mobile phones, texts and facebook messages the simplest most direct way of contacting someone seems to have been forgotten! Anyway daughter caught a taxi to the hospice and I would meet her there.So dashed round feeding the menagerie, showered, dressed  and headed off.
On arrival I met daughter in the foyer and after establishing she was ok asked how the appointment re the stoma went. When I asked what they said re various aspects of having the op she said these things were not mentioned and now she was confused and didn't know who to talk to. I suggested the GP or Dr's at the hospice and she pointed one out to me and said would I talk to him. I had intended doing so anyway so didn't need asking twice!
It reminded me of the new head in my first school and a discussion/argument I had had with him over information given to parents. He said we were educators not social workers, Dr's and it was not our role to talk to them about benefits, medical issues etc. I totally disagreed of course - if you don't know these things exist how can you ask questions about them. Sadly it seems Friend is still  averse to doing research on medical aspects and still trusts the Dr's to tell her what she needs to know. My constant fear the last few weeks is that she will undergo an operation that will not do what she thinks it will and may well bring more difficulties. Having spoken to the Dr it seems my fears were justified - no guarantee it would resolve the issues regarding her bowel movements and pain thereof. So I headed to Friend and daughter and gently tried to address this issue with them and go through the questions she wanted / needed answering to make an informed decision. Then I gathered some of her many bags and started to load the car. When I came back it seems an appointment at the Hospital was now on the agenda!! I wonder if my conversation with the Dr had prompted this.
By this point I was developing quite a stonker of a headache, and since Friend now had cutlery on her table and was going to stay at the hospice for lunch before we set off, I went and got something to eat and took some tablets! I then loaded the car with her last bag and her wheelchair which had not been mentioned was there and needed to be brought home!  Oh my that was fun getting it in the car! All bags out, wheelchair in and out several times until I found the correct way to get it in that would allow me to close the boot! When I finally returned to get Friend and daughter I  found them  outside her room having apple pie put on a plate and covered for her to eat on the way to hospital!
Finally we set off in the pouring rain. I took the less congested route to the hospital which meant going past where my last old school had been and the new one which we had moved to for the final 4 years of my working life. I was reminded of how I often regarded the managers with incredulity over their blinkered, idiotic,policy and procedure and assessment driven approach to education. As if it mattered one jot in relation to the inexperienced, unqualified staff they appointed and the real needs of the children. They gave no consideration to the children or staff morale and the basic human nature of a school - all was competency issues and hang the fact some staff were undergoing intense personal issues that of course impacted on their ability to commit 100% to school. I often felt like screaming at them to get a life!
You may wonder why I have dwelt on this last trip down memory lane - all will be revealed!!
So we sat for ages on the Surgical ward with a lot of other people awaiting appointments - by the time Friend was called she was in the toilet! So from the toilet she was taken straight to.....a bed on the ward!!! What the hell? She had the usual questions asked by a nurse, was she allergic to anything.how mobile was she, did she need help dressing - I'm afraid I began to give flippant comments! Made friend laugh anyway! Next came a lovely young woman with a tea trolley, who told Friend she could not give her anything to eat or drink as she was not on her list and so she would have to go ask what she was permitted from her nurse! OMG! talk about "Does she take sugar?" Friend didn't even have a nurse she was here for an appointment - wasn't she?
Well by now pain was kicking in so out came the drugs the hospice had given us with strict instructions to give to the hospital staff as they could kill a young child! No way was I handing the drugs over - we'd probably have to go through so many complicated procedures to get them back when we left! No spoon or syringe to take the drugs with so off I went to ask for one - I'll ask her nurse was the response - again this "nurse"?? Well we waited and nothing was forthcoming so off I went again.I spoke to "the nurse" - no she could not give her the drugs as there was no drug chart or instructions from "The Dr". No, I explained, we had the drugs we just needed something to measure them out with. No came the answer they could not enable her to take drugs not prescribed by them!!!!!!!!!!! By this time she had been allowed a cup of tea, so I tracked down the lovely young  woman and said Friend had changed her mind re sugar and could I have some sugar and a spoon! Mission accomplished - spoon obtained and drugs taken! 
Next came the Stoma nurse, who left a leaflet as she could not mark her up for the stoma until the Dr had seen her. What the hell! Seems friend was there for the night with the stoma operation the next day!!!! WHOA! This was not what we were expecting! As I had been packing the car I did not hear what friend was told about this appointment or what she asked about it - nothing it seems! 
Well this is taking a long time to write about so I shall try to be brief - seen by one young Dr and then the main man - I had checked with friend re me asking questions and got permission so ask I did! More  things Friend and daughter didn't even known about! As I had expected there was no way a stoma would resolve her bowel problems, it would just mean she would not be incontinent! Plus a moot point whether she would become obstructed by the tumor before the cancer actually got her. Friend had already made up her mind she was not staying the night and she was not having the op in the morning until she had thought it all over!! Finally stoma nurse came back singing the joys of a stoma bag! Which I am sure for many it is, but not for Friend who has no normal life to get back to as she was extolling - 2 weeks and she could be doing all the normal things - Uhm 6-8 weeks recovery for a normal person I'd read! I switched off at this point! 
So finally we left but the fun wasn't over! Stop at supermarket to get shopping for evening meal and breakfast as eldest daughter who was now at home had requested! Seriously! We had been out all day, youngest after a sleepless night in hospital and Friend first day out from hospice? Well Friend went to the toilet with daughter, I bought profiteroles and pasta de nata as I felt I deserved a treat or two and met them coming out so took friend to car whilst daughter shopped. Gave her a profiterole - she needed the toilet - back we went! Daughter had seen me outside the toilet but then we discovered her outside in the cold! Finally home - car unpacked, friend straight to the toilet and me straight home! Friend at least has her children with her, is home, and has the weekend to think over what she wants to do re the stoma - rock and a hard place for her really. 
Fun and Games? Don't make me laugh!