First person: Estoy asustada

She is six months pregnant with her second child (the first is nine). What was to be a joyous occasion has turned into a source of worry: "what if they send me back to my country and I lose my children?" Her voice catches as she asks me "why do Americans hate us?" "I work hard," she continues, "I pay taxes, I follow the rules. I'm a good person. I don't understand."

And while my voice says all the right reassuring things to her, my head replays the language we've all heard over the past 18 months, the appointments that are being made and the kinds of people who will likely lead this country. And I, too, worry.

She and a friend occasionally work for me -- both are 'out of status.' Her friend has a 20-year old son who lives with his father back in her home country. Her eyes mist over as she says that she has not seen him in 7 years: "I cannot leave the country and my family doesn't have enough money to visit." She mentions that a friend of hers was just let go from her job cleaning houses because the lady she worked for was afraid she might get in trouble having an illegal in her house. She too cannot understand the hate directed at them.

They want information: "What is he saying now? Is he really going to throw us out? Will he do all these things right away? Can he take me away from my children?" They don't know who to turn too, afraid of creating a blip on someone's radar screen. Keeping a low profile. Waiting and seeing....

I feel so angry. And sad.