Nearly!

I nearly went shopping - but head still feeling iffy so decided that Milkshake could just make do with her less favoured cat food and that there was nothing I really needed urgently! Instead I potted up the Veltheimia bulbs that were already shooting their wavy leaves up! 
There was good news today from my friend about her mum - not as bad as they had thought but needs a biopsy to make sure. Such good news but I remember with my mum and with a scan I had a few years ago, once the initial relief and euphoria  leaves I was left with facing what I had feared but had suppressed thinking about as best I could. Suddenly you are free to process this and it gives mixed feelings both good and bad for you to deal with. The other friend with the brain haemorrhage was supposed to be coming home today - but she and her husband were not happy about it given the pain and nausea she was still feeling. I think the mental trauma of any illness can be greater to overcome than the physical. I know I am erring on the side of caution about going too far, anxious I may experience the same as I did on the allotment - even though I have not had it since. But every funny feeling in my body makes me anxious. But I am not going to get anxious over feeling anxious! So gentle pottering and reminding myself there is nothing I should be doing - I need only to do what I want!
This photograph represents happy thoughts and memories. Flowers from my allotment, the wire figure I gave my parents on their Golden Anniversary, the netsuke I bought to give my mum but then loved so much I couldn't part with it, the metal lizard I bought whilst staying with a friend in Manchester but with whom I am no longer in touch with,  and of course the chandelier - the present I bought myself to celebrate giving up my job! Beautiful objects that hold  memories both happy and bittersweet. I'm learning to hold onto the good memories, learn from and release the bittersweet.