Live/Love/Smile

By Shonie

4 Weeks - Meltdown No.1

So... Four weeks into fourth year and I have had breakdown and cry my eyes out session number 1.
I have a presentation for history on Monday, half the class went yesterday. They were all really good. I'm stressed and have no real idea what I'm meant to be doing. The presentation is a constituency analysis, we had to pick a shire/burgh and asses the levels of parliament and constituency activity.... My chosen shire is 'Haddingtonshire'.
I opened up PowerPoint with good intentions which have frozen thanks to my fear and sheer terror.
I was worried the pressure of this final year was going to be more than enough to break me and I am already starting to believe that.
Academia isn't for everybody and I realised last year its not really for me, not like this. The problem being I am so close to the end and have to finish.
I am exhausted aswell, I can't sleep and haven't slept for 4 nights now. Probably logged about 10 hours sleep in 5 days.
This is therefore making me teary.
I think for the sake of my sanity, I need an early night and a rest, I have no classes tomorrow and maybe my best plan is to tackle it after a good nights rest... Then I might not be so f****d - in terms of coursework and lack of sleep.
Not a good week so far :(

S x

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