A holiday catalog -- a picture book of delights, is shoved through our mail slot. It lands with a thud. A wreath of Brussels sprouts adorns the cover, "Every Lidl Thing for Christmas." The Police song comes to mind, "Everything Lidl (little!) thing she does is magic." Is this clever marketing or am I reading too much into it? It doesn't matter, I am filled with a strange excitement.

I place it on the coffee table at an angle reserved for home decor or fashion magazines, for later -- I am saving it. My husband sees this and has it earmarked for the bin. I am a bit giddy about this square publication made with quality, matte paper, and filled with things I don't even eat. I am pretty sure I know how this printed long-form corporate advertisement is going to make me feel and I am looking forward to it.

Finally, on a frosty Sunday morning, I make myself a cup of tea and sit on the floor with my back against the warm radiator. It's just me and my book of adverts. I can now bask in everything they are trying to sell me. I open it and I am returned to childhood and all Christmas catalogs past. The pages offer solace -- here is every cosy idea of food, family, and entertaining that ever existed. It feels authentic and classic.

Our shepherds for the experience are two failed MasterChef contestants, Billy and Jack. I don't know who they are but they have kind enough faces and I am sure they can cook up a holiday meal like no other.

Within the pages, there are colourful scenes of rustic meals half-eaten, on gorgeous plates, with proper silverware and vintage-inspired crystal stemware in the background. Once unpackaged, the "Deluxe" brand cheeses, crackers, and chocolates look opulent.

The European market section fills us with dreams of delectable stolen, quality chocolates, and a worldly sensibility. This feeling is available for all at Lidl with apparent ease and grace. The food stylists and photographers knocked this one out of the park. I buy the concepts they are selling without hesitation and in my mind I am there, basking in the warm glow of a Christmas tree with a full belly and a drink in hand, delightful company chattering away around the table or snacking in the kitchen. The only time my dream is interrupted is while perusing their London Gin collection, their elegant off-brand labels similar to the more expensive local craft gin, are branded "Hortus." Hortus I say to myself. I laugh in delight and I instantly think of those in my life who would also get a chuckle out of receiving a wee bottle of Hortus for Christmas. Hortus for all!

This Christmas guide of cheer is complete with Billy and Jack's recipes, wine pairings, party tricks for children, gift guides, and even a coupon for £5 off a £40 spend. However, this is all beside the point. What this commercial fanzine to nameless brand food offers, is a blueprint for the Christmas dream and it shines brightly and without fail, inspires.