Know How

Ah, ASDA. As charming as it is that you believe there are people in Great Britain who do not know how to make a cup of tea, I can't help but feel you may have underestimated us all just a little. The only scenario in which I can see this handy cut-out-and-keep guide being of any use whatsoever is after a nuclear holocaust from which the Queen is the only survivor, and that comforting cup of tea isn't going to make itself (or be made by the legion of servants who now closely resemble the detritus at the bottom of a barbecue).

Still, I very much look forward to purchasing some ASDA toilet paper in future, in the hope that they'll let me know exactly how that works. Because I must have scoffed down a thousand rolls of the stuff since I was a baby, but it's just not doing the trick when it comes out the other end.