What A Load Of Rubbish!

Hi, John?

Yeah, it's Dave in Transport. Look, I'm just ringing you about the invoice for the cleaning.

Well, to be honest - no! They're not doing a great job... Remember the one thing I said last month?

Yeah, the walkway... No, they haven't. God alone knows how, but I think they've actually got more boxes in there. Look - between you and me - I'd be happy if they sealed the damn thing off. It's only those gobshites in the Coast Guard over there. How much bloody coast they can guard from an office in the middle of Dublin, I do not know! But at least they're keeping to themselves now, since they'd actually have to walk up six flights of stairs to come and annoy us...

Well, the problem is I've got Health and Safety due in next week, and they're going to be all over me like a dose of the clap once they see the state of that place. Not to mention if the Fire Officer shows up...

I'm sorry, but it is your shaggin' problem! I'm looking at the invoice and it says "cleaning services", not "shoving shite behind a set of double doors and hoping it goes away services". I mean, what are we paying all of this for? Certainly not the couple of old dears strolling about and flicking a duster every 10 steps twice a week?

Overheads? What fecking overheads? And what do you mean, take it up with your brother?

Oh, your brother the Minister...

OK. I'll have the cheque ready on Monday. See you then...