A day not as it should be

Today oct 26 2012... What would have been my moms 60th birthday and the beginning of the 9th week of carrying two precious lives in the safety of my womb... But instead was moms 3rd birthday celebrated in heaven and the day the fullness of life growing inside of me once again turned to emptiness. A day not as it should be.
I do not understand this path and my heart breaks with every breath... But yet faithfully, even in the midst of such deep pain, God faithfully still provides beauty to behold.
As the girls and I stood outside and released a balloon to the sky for their Nana I noticed a few raindrops falling... I liked to think it was a sign that God was weeping with me both for the ache of missing my mom and for the deep heart wrenching pain of losing the sweet life that was so quickly growing within me... I then went in to cut the birthday cake we had drove all over town to find to celebrate moms life with... As the girls sat eating their pieces I glanced out the window and saw this beautiful pink sky... I know it's kinda silly but I felt it was just for my mom as pink is her color (breast cancer awareness color) and for my little girls now running free in the fields of glory, because I just knew they were girls!
Things are not as they should be, sorrow seems to be my constant companion... But God is still God and beauty still abounds!


26/10/2012

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