On a lighter note...

As the glare from the incoming salvo of cruise missiles lit up the night sky,
I put my head between my legs and then kissed my ass goodbye.

Be in no doubt. People are doing it

Is it true Sturgeon has sent the Waverley Paddle Steamer to the Strait of Taiwan so we can rattle our sabre with the big boys?

Madness, and I don't mean Suggs and his pals.