different names for the same thing

maybe its up with the stars
maybe its under the sea
maybe its not very far
maybe this is how its supposed to be
maybe its trapped in a jar
something we've already seen
maybe its nowhere at all
maybe this is how itss supposed to be
looking forward as we rewind
looking back is a trap sometimes
being here is so easy to do

i realize the song in the title is different from the lyrics but they're both great songs. i took this picture with the thought of the sun setting on the water, something we don't see around here. something my eyes and heart miss every day. it reminded me of the night we sat out on the beach in the dark and the first time you said you loved me. i never said it back, not once. i just smiled and let the moment pass. every time. look where we are now. i still miss you, every day since you first left. every day since we were eighteen. sometimes i worry i made the same mistake twice and sometimes i worry that my desire to move out west is really just my inability to let you let me go.

i can't not now. i'm getting all reflective in my last year as a college student.

alone on a train aimless in wander
an outdate map crumpled in my pocket
but i didnt care where i was going
because they're all different names for the same places
the coast disappeared when the sea drowned the sun
and i knew no words to share it with anyone
the boundaries of language i quietly cursed
and all the different names for the same thing

on my best days i know that i couldn't have done anything better or differently. i know that no matter what its always been the same situation and there's nothing i can do. going to bed confused each night and waking up nothing short of disconcerted doesn't do anyone any good. it changes by the hour, but my old copeland cd reminded me tonight of how much life has a tendency to move in circles.

i'll keep a weather eye.