A Wife’s View: Columbine HS shooting:
April 20, 1999

Mid-Morning. I check the clock and smile. Imagining, Columbine HS and the crazy good times ahead for my husband’s Advanced Biology Class. By now, his room’s overrun with 25 feisty baby chicks. Plus, 25 students new to the role of 24-hour-chick parent.

Me. I’m 5.3 miles away. Second floor Chatfield HS. Monitoring a loud discussion between my Honors English students.. As they debate the nature of evil in The Lord of the Flies.
I’m oblivious to the massacre unfolding at Columbine High School. But not for long.

The TV shows me a world I can’t  fathom. With my fear escalating, I call Columbine’s Science Dept. Hoping to hear my husband’s voice. Amid the chaos,, fellow teacher Terry answers the phone. To my relief, she’s seen Doug after the first round of shots. Later, I find out. No one got calls through. to the school. No ringing. Just busy signals. The Angels watched out for me that day, my friends.

Friend Patty, combined our classes, leaving me free to search for answers.
Almost there, I turn onto West Bowles Ave to find a parking lot.. Ditched cars littering  the road. Tires turned at odd angles, Doors hanging open. An Apocalypse 

Above, choppers fly endlessly back and forth,. Filling the air with constant noise. SWAT team members, armed to the teeth, walked by me without a glance. A block ahead, yellow tape cordoned off the street in front of the school. I’m the only civilian around.

Littleton library, dispenser of information,, became a horrifying place. The man-in-charge, unable to handle the crowd, resorted to, yelling “Shut up”. I don’t know why, he had no information to share., 

I watch the sporadic arrival of yellow buses as they unload newly liberated staff. 
While waiting, waiting, waiting. An older man approaches, places a hand on my shoulder, leans forward  and tells me my husband died an hour ago. In my heart I know he’s wrong.

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We were reunited after dark. 
Killers: Klebold and Harris wandered the halls shooting at doors and windows.  Science teachers armed themselves with fire extinguishers, hiding students behind over-turned desks.. Horrific circumstances.  There heroic efforts saved hundreds of live, and Katie Couric and People magazine told the world all about it.
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Me. I feel the anniversary of April 20th in my heart. Eery year it sneaks up on me. Snatching me from sleep. Filling me with dreaded memories.. I rarely speak about those days, and I’ve never written about the experience. But this time. This year. I needed to let the words out.