Last day of leave

Last day of my parental leave today, can't believe nearly five months passed since it really started. It's bittersweet. These were a couple of very special months. Five months in which I got to know my daughter, learned so much about motherhood and was allowed - for the first time in more than a decade - to, at least from time to time, not think about work. I feel so blessed it was possible to spend five whole months with Ellis before she goes to day care on Monday and realize, would we have stayed in the US, this special time that only comes once, would have been cut much shorter and she would have been less strong, less of her own person, at the start of day care. Why bittersweet then? So many feelings. I wanted it to last longer. Also, looking back, there was so much that I felt I had to do that I didn't want to do (e.g. The Paper) and so much I wanted to do that I didn't get to do (e.g. catching up here with blip...). And yes, I am also looking forward to getting back to work and finally write up my results. Yet, I feel guilty immediately, because that means being away from her and her having to learn to take bottles/being cuddled by strangers/taking first 'steps' and me missing out. Well, it is how it is and for now we are going to enjoy this last day to the max. Starting, as is tradition, with a nap!

P.S. I hate having to back blip, especially more than 5 or so, but it is what it is. All photos are waiting to be posted, I just didn't get around to them. Will let you know when I do. If ever.