St Monans and Groanin's.....

We had a beautiful day out in the East Neuk of Fife today, tootling round all the tiny fishing villages with their multi-coloured houses and lobster pots on the pier.

Sitting outside in the sun, we tuned in to various conversations going on round about us...

One couple (Australian) were arguing about Eurovision, and how the Antipodes fitted into Europe, and another pair (Cockneys) were discussing how he never got enthusiastic about anything.

'I do,' he said indignantly, 'I'm interested in me bowels, ain't I?'

My friends and I were aghast...who wants to hear about that in public? We drew in nearer to learn more.

'Nonsense' said his wife. 'When did you last go?'

'A week past, wern'it? Tired me aht, did'n it. All that strainin', an' effort.....'

I was on the point of a) being sick and b) telling him that I'm almost a doctor and prescribing some senna tablets, when he started yapping on about jacks and rinks, and we realised it wasn't bowels.........it was bowls.

A relief all round......