Good and Bad

I've been trying to improve my mental health lately and I've noticed that it's just been deteriorating since I finished University and had little to occupy my mind on. I tried to pick up reading again, and will keep continuing to try, but at the moment I can't focus my mind on it enough to really get into a deep book. I've been reading "Blankets" on and off (per chapter) and it's still a great one to read. Richard recently switched at work to helping "Mental Health Foundation" and he brought home a little booklet called "Good mental health for all" which is the main focus and purpose of this post.

The good and bad.

I decided I'd use the 10 ideas they have in the booklet to say a good and a bad thing I do about each thing to try remind myself that even when I'm not 100% at something, there's always a little piece of me that is good at the same thing. Or that there's always room to improve. It probably won't work for me but I'm trying everything I can. 

10 Ways to Look After Your Mental Health. 
1. Talk About Your Feelings
Good:
I'm aware of how much I struggle to do this and how few people I have in close-range so I always write anything down in a journal. That way I'm not fully keeping it bottled in and I've had the chance to express the emotions whether it is to a person or not. 
Bad:
I don't know how to tell anyone how I'm doing. I don't know how to emotionally connect with my family as I feel most of my problems are irrelevant in comparison to their daily life and I can't help but feel judged by them, despite their constant kindness (mostly) and help in certain situations. My family are relatively gossip-y and I don't think I can talk to them knowing that. My partner is also tough to speak to as I already burden him enough just being who I am. He spends all his time either at work or on his game and I don't want to say something that might make him leave the game when he's enjoying himself so much. So I just don't say anything. Even if it's a memory making me sad that he already knows I just leave it because it's less important than his happiness. 

2. Eat Well
Good:
Just recently I've been avoiding any bad eating choices. I've cut down the number of snacks I have and I've even managed to buy snacks and save them without the urge to eat them all. I've also incorporated sea-kelp into my diet which will hopefully help my metabolism and speed up the weight loss. 

Bad:
Both today and yesterday I have been extremely depressed and in pain and have avoided eating anything properly. I've had a few bites of food and gave up completely, skipped meals and ate snack-food instead of proper meals. 

3. Drink Sensibly
Good:
I've almost completely cut out sugary drinks from my diet, with the exception of a few here and there. In comparison to my previous "addiction" of them, I basically don't drink them at all now. I've moved onto water, tea and ice tea and it feels a lot better and less syrup-y to drink. I've also restricted alcohol to Sundays and even on Sundays, if I do have a drink, it won't be too many.

Bad:
When I'm sad about something that was my fault I completely ignore my diet and do the exact opposite of what I want to do. 

4. Keep in Touch
Good:
I try to stay in touch with two of my best friends from high school, even if it is only on social media. I also aim to check up on my partner every now and then while he's on his game so I don't feel too much of a burden being there the whole time.

Bad:
I hardly talk to most of my family anymore and it's really upsetting as I love them and can't imagine them not being in my life. My mother responds to me a lot but the rest of them are really tough to talk to these days so I gave up trying completely. 

5. Keep Active
Good:
I've recently started exercising on the days Richard is at work, that way I know I do at least three decent days of exercise a week. 

Bad:
Most other days I'm too depressed to even get out of bed and given my lack of things to do I don't. 

6. Ask for Help
Good:
Since A-Level Physics I've become excellent at asking for help with my education. I was recently struggling with a presentation and I asked my tutor non-stop for help and I managed to pass because of it. I no longer have the fear of not knowing how to do something in education. 

Bad:
The above mostly stems in education and I fail to do this in most other places due to judgement or fear of being ridiculed. 

7. Take a Break
Good:
I know when I'm pushing myself too much and when to just stop working on something.

Bad:
I either ignore the above, or take breaks for way too long and end up messing things up. I also NEVER take any proper "me-time" and end up stressing over things that aren't necessary. 

8. Do Something You're Good At
Good:
I don't really have anything for this one. 

Bad:
I don't know anything that I'm good at. I have too much of an active mind and it never wants to stay doing one thing.

9. Accept Who You Are
Good:
Tiny boobs are ok.

Bad:
The above is honestly the only thing I able to accept and even that was written in a stupid manner.

10. Care for Others
Good:
I love making everyone I know happy. I try to go out of my way to make sure everyone is feeling ok and not in pain or sick. I may not be good at doing it but I try so hard to make my closest people feel good whenever I can. Including my cat.

Bad:
I never do the same for myself.