Birthday Ophelia

There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember; and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts...
There’s fennel for you, and columbines; there’s rue for you, and here’s some for me; we may call it herb of grace o’ Sundays. O, you must wear your rue with a difference. There’s a daisy. I would give you some violets, but they wither’d all when my father died.

The power walk to St Pancras is hot work. I get on the train and begin to perspire freely only once I’ve sat down. Then there’s the relaxing journey to Sheffield. I paid an extra £2.50 for 1st class, for which I get a cup of tea, a couple of biscuits and a bottle of water. No full breakfast, though. Sad.

It’s baking in Sheffield. A couple of bus drivers mock my ignorance of Sheffield’s bus system, but I finally get a 120, going in the right direction, operated by the right bus company. I pity the foreigner who has to make sense of it, though. Because it doesn’t make sense.

I saw firewood, shower, power nap, and finally get started on G&T. A full posse have made their way down from Scotland, including Sara, Leila’s twin sister. Richard and George have come from Llanishen, Giles & Ione from Yorkshire. And many of the museum curators of the East Midlands are present.

The party has a fictional character theme, followed more or less closely by many. There are some spectacular outfits. Leila, the birthday girl, is Ophelia - stuffing flower stems into her dress, front and back. Tony, less elegantly, comes as The Dude, pyjamas and dressing gown (but no-one pees on his rug). Richard claims to be Moorcock’s Jerry Cornelius and George sports an elegant, nylon, retro flower-print dress - which she fails to ignite.

The fire burns into the small hours. There’s dancing, lasers, and smoke machine. An awesome Angie cake, Harry Potter ‘pensive’-themed, with sixteen vials containing tiny icing clues to some of their shared memories. And burritos a-plenty, prepared by the Street Food Company.

Angie explains the art of crawling (and why keeping a low centre of gravity is essential). Corinne, Liz, and Sara work through a back-catalog of ballads by the brazier. Richard plans a robotic coup, while George looks on sober. Babs retires early, but Mary holds up her end of the party. Emily, Ella and Ewan are no slouches either.

As the locals drift off home it’s clear that this is going to get messy.