Babygate

My friend and colleague Katie has announced her pregnancy, and is in that awkward phase of not wanting it to dominate all conversations at work. Luckily I'll never have to experience the decision-making around revealing that news, which must be irritating, especially for people who like to separate the personal from the professional.

I'm visiting Katie and her husband Nick at the weekend, and because she now lives in a traditional part of the country that votes in crusty pillocks like Christopher Chope, I am going to make as many references as possible in earshot of members of the public to the child to be born through our three-way relationship. Just for laughs.

In the evening I headed around the corner for dinner with my old friend Zoe. Her one-year old daughter wouldn't settle so joined us. She's being raised bilingually in Spanish and English so it gave good opportunities for comedy Spanish usage. When Zoe had to send a quick email, I was left in charge of the kid. I don't think I'm a natural at occupying a child. Most things are rather futile when faced with a ten-second attention span and a constant desire to gravitate back to the source of milk.

I may rethink the three-way baby situation...