50 Fun things to do for free

Suddenly I have become the target through the post for every disease that can affect the "financially challenged": arthritis, cancer, depression, hard of hearing, Alzheimer's, incontinence pads - what do I want with incontinence pads? I never knew such things existed.

They go straight into the dustbin except one. I keep it.
"50 fun things to do for free" when you reach a "certain age".


Well, I am all for anything that's free and this looked different. A big glossy poster, the kind you can stick up on your kitchen wall, so I open it:

"Jump in puddles"...I have never jumped in a puddle in my life and I have no intention of starting now. I might break a bone.

"Fly a kite." What do they think I am? Six years of age?

"Go tadpoling." Bit difficult if you live in a high rise flat.

"Pitch a tent in the garden and spend the night under canvas."

Do they know what Scottish weather is like?

"Milk a cow". What? Am I reading this right?


I check the sender: it's the Co-operative will and funeral-planning department.