Buzzin'.....

Today, I was hauled away from my teapot computer and on to the shop floor, because a customer was asking for me.

Mrs X is 85 (I checked) and very Morningside (ie posh and loud). After exchanging pleasantries, I asked what I could help her with.

'Well dear," she boomed, "the doctor says I need perking up a bit. He's recommended a vibrator."

I nearly fell off my flip-flops. "A vib.....a what?" Surely I'd misheard?

"A vibrator dear. One of those things," she added helpfully, "that vibrates!"

I could see other customers becoming interested.

"It's really not the sort of thing we sell," I said, trying to whisper discreetly.

"Of course it is. You demonstrated one to me last year."

People were looking at me with fascination. I opened my mouth to deny everything, but she continued.

"They advertise them, during the Countdown adverts."

Blimey, I thought, afternoon tv must be getting a bit racy!

"You know - that cricketer uses one......"

No surprise there, I wanted to reply....it's a short hop between ball tampering and fiddling about with vibrators!

"....and so does Judith Chalmers now she's getting on a bit."

I was trying to decide whether to a) cry, or b) direct her to Ann Summers, when I suddenly realised what she meant....