Good beer and good writing go hand in hand

This sums up my Friday in Noosa - some of the premium lager from James Boag of Tasmania, and some wonderful travel writing from the travel writing master himself: Bill Bryson.

James Boag is the creator of this magnificent beer from Launceston in Tasmania. Being a lager scumbag, I prefer the premium lager beer variety, but I know my Aussie cousins prefer the normal Boag's Draught - which is also a good refresher. As it happens, two years ago I visited the Boag's brewery, while in Tasmania, and on my way to my aunt's holiday home in Bridport. I stopped here with my big cousin Mark (MM), and he asked if we might have a beer:

MM: "Mate, any chance of a beer?"

Brewery worker: "No, mate, you need to go on the tour in order to get a drink of what we produce here"

MM: "Oh right, yeah, when does that start?" (Looking at his watch, current time 1130)

Brewery worker: "1215"

MM: "Ahh shit, does it cost?"

Brewery worker: "Fifteen dollars"

MM: "Can't you just give's a beer, I'll give you fifteen bucks"

Brewery worker: "No, sorry sir, I can't do that, we're not licensed - we can only give the beer to those who have paid for the tour"

MM: "Can I give you fifteen bucks, and we'll just not tell anyone that my very thirsty cousin and I have not been on the tour?"

Brewery worker: "No, it doesn't work like that sir, sorry"

MM: "What about we actually pay for a tour, get the ticket to say we've been on the tour, but in the end we can't go because my cousin has got a sore leg - but he can still drink the beer samples at the end?"

Brewery worker: "Sorry sir, I can't do that"

MM: "Listen mate, what if I gave you twenty bucks, just between us, and you give us a beer"

Brewery worker: "Sir that would be tantamount to fraud and would result in me pocketing an illicit profit"

MM: "For phaks sake mate, give us a phakin' beer"

Brewery worker: "Sorry sir, I may have to ask you to leave"

MM: "................." (Heads for the door)

MM: "Let's go to the phakin bottle shop, it'll be phakin cheaper anyway, Bridport here we come"


Anyway, for those that want to know, Bridport contains the 59th best golf course on the planet: Barnbougle Dunes. I have played it twice, what a truly awesome experience - but I still managed to hit an average of 9 strokes per hole. I'm no golfer, but for those that are, this was one of the most breathtaking scenery I have ever seen. Twain was right.

As for Bill Bryson - I have a LOT more to blip about him, and his unbelievably accurate observations about Australia - more of that later.

Lada.

("Lada" - not a crap Russian car, but an Aussie expression for "Cherrio" - like saying "Later" but with an Aussie accent).