Empty Beach

I went hiking this weekend and I really enjoyed time to be outside and just  the hike. It was a beatiful weekend a beautiful, hot, sweaty, Spider filled and snake filled weekend. It was worth every ache, every complaint from my team and every sore twinge I have when I stand up. 

It's funny how the miles on my hiking shoes 
remind me of you. 
Remind me that you left, 
remind me that you chose someone else. 
They also remind me that 
I am not second best, or second choice. 
I am first choice.
I choose me,  but as the miles passed under my feet,
I also missed you, the twinge in my heart, 
The desire to turn around and show you the things I saw. 
The desire to see your smile light up your face 
and hear that laughter one more time. 
I spent the miles getting over my dreams of you 
and facing the reality. 
Even if it was time, even if that came to light
I am not longer ready
my heart broke in two
I miss you somedays.
There are moments I wish you were here, 
Days I wish I could wake up beside you
But those are becoming less and less.
In reality, I am not ready for you to break my heart again. 
I'm not sure you'll ever get near it again. 
Copyright- Amoryn Shaddai, 2018