Helena Handbasket

By Tivoli

Tap dancing

Ever since I moved into my adorable doll's-house pigeon-loft of a flat there has been only one tiresome grievance, and that has been the cold taps in the bathroom. No complaint at all with the hot taps. The cold tap in the washbasin has been extremely reluctant to shut off, and the constant encouragement for it to do just that has resulted in it twisting entirely out of alignment with the washbasin bowl. It's an inconvenience, nothing more.

The far more serious issue has always been the reluctance of the cold tap in the bath/shower to operate at all after the hot tap has been allowed to take the limelight. It has made morning showers very short and pink and has caused baths to be topped up by bowls of cold water carried through from the kitchen.

This is not acceptable and that is exactly what I said in a bad-tempered SMS to my landlord late on Tuesday evening after I had spent the day striding over acres of muddy landfill overlooking Canterbury Cathedral (no one spotted that in extras did they!) in great want of a hot soak before bed.

Zing Boom Taraa and almost instantly a kindly young plumber has arrived to upgrade my taps. He was awfully grateful of the upside down stained rug across the bathroom floor protecting him from the awful chill from the gorgeous tiles.

So I now have nice new taps and that is wonderful.

I did explain to him that the problem with the bath/shower has always been getting cold water after hot has been run, and probably not a lot to do with the taps at all. I also told him that this particular phenomenon had already been described to several people, all of whom had assumed it to be a problem with the plumbing, and specifically, the taps. I have never been quite so sure about that.

Anyway. Nice young chap has replaced all my bathroom taps and will be interested to hear if the lack-of-cold-water-after-the-hot-has-run-for-a-bit remains an issue. Because if it does, it is down to the pump, and not the taps. And who installed the pump? Well goodness me! The very same arrogant muppet electrician who tried to convince both my landlord and I that we were mistaken when we witnessed a complete absence of cold water coming from the bath tap.

Apologies for being dreadfully boring – I feel that I am stepping into Sherlock Holmes territory, but you may not feel quite as engaged as I do.

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