By gennepher

Especially made for...

...admirer's SillySaturday challenge!

Using the KaleidaCam app, using the first free template to create something a bit different. So you have my gardening clogs on my feet, and the cat on my lap :)

Silly enough?

This saga of the app divorcing itself from my spanking new all dancing brand new state of the art cochlear speech processor started at 2am this morning. I had to beat it into submission.

So far it disconnects itself randomly from my processor, telling me my processor is not attached to my head and that it is lost. I have never felt my head so much in my life to keep checking...yes it is on my head you silly app.

The app crashes once or twice a day, resulting in my phone also crashing. Then when I start phone up again, I have to reset the settings for volume control again, because either app crashing and/or phone crashing because of this, has put the volume control back to default setting of having that yellow bit on the higher end of volume saying you are going to hurt your hearing. And the consequences of this is that the app says it cannot find my processor and tells me to attach it to magnet in my head...I feel my head again...yes it is there. Another performance of me breaking the processor into two (yes I can do this) and reconnecting so that Bluetooth has to find it again....etc...sign into Cochlear again, enable permissions again...

Then suddenly something is up. My phone asks me if I want to pair with Jayne's watch....

Who the heck is Jayne? I am in my potting shed in the garden. no one on the roof of the potting one hiding in my garden...

Then my phone tells me it is attempting to pair my processor with another device...

What device? I only have my iPhone on. Every other device I have has Bluetooth off, airplane mode on, and is shut down. By this time I have every device I own in a Faraday Cage...apart from phone.

But phone still says on screen it is attempting to pair my processor to another device. Where? Whose device?

Then it tells me my processor cannot be connected to my phone at all in the Apple settings. This means I cannot even stream sound or music from my iPhone. The processor has to be found by Apple settings for me to be able to use Bluetooth.

By this time I am in tears. Two hours I try. Nothing doing...

I am eating too much chocolate by now. In my defence it is the 100% black chocolate, so it shouldn't upset my diabetes too much...should it?

I have been trying my best to outwit an essential app I need which keeps divorcing itself from my Cochlear speech processor. I need the app to run and adjust it etc.

Finally I looked on reviews for both iPhone version of app and Android version of app, in general the reviews are appalling with just about every user complaining to the developers of exactly the same problems as I am encountering.

The standard response of the developers is what? “We are very sorry. Contact Cochlear...”

The Android app was first started a year ago, and those complaints have been there from the start. The iPhone app was started July 2018, and exactly the same complaints there from the start. So nothing has changed in a year.

So I clicked on the Cochlear link the developers gave. And am greeted with a photo of a distinguished looking gentleman standing in an airport terminal, with the same model of speech processor as myself, and the words were something on the lines of ...”So easy to control and adjust from your iPhone...” and more amazing promotional rubbish. He is holding his iPhone adjusting his settings....

(...insert in these brackets every word you might think I might've used....)


I deleted the stupid app. You cannot turn it off as such. Bliss.....

I am stuck with the settings as they are. That is all there is to it now. If I end up in a noisy/difficult situation, then I will just take the processor off.

I can’t turn processor off by the app now, so I have to snap it in two. Then reconnect the battery compartment the the next morning. I am a bit clumsy with my arthritic hands, and so I am wondering how long it is going to last....

Also, when the the app was on the phone, there was clicking on the speech processor like something (the app) adjusting controls and settings on the processor because it is set on scan, so can change settings itself to adjust to different situations, but I was just sitting still when it did this.

So annoying to get clicks in my ear, and then the app altering sound levels etc itself. it made me feel dizzy and affected my sense of balance. If you personally alter a sound level, you know you are doing it, so you are expecting it to change.

What am I doing now?

I am in the potting shed shed with Popeye. I have unearthed the portable boom box thing I bought a couple of years ago. Recharged it. Connected it (not by Bluetooth, I might find out too much about Jayne and her watch), but by jackplugs and lead to iPhone.

What am I playing? Plainchant.

Hildegard von Bingen - Voices of Angels, Voices of Ascension.

My brain has nothing to work out with this. I don't have to work out the words. I presume it is in Latin? And it is calming my body down from the trauma of this app.

I just went in to make a cuppa. Coming back, I realised the sound of plainchant was permeating my garden and beyond...

That means the whole neighbourhood is getting religious choral music. It might calm my next door neighbour....

I am in the cathedral of my garden listening to this....

Here is a link to You Tube

I downloaded this music to my phone, so I could listen uninterrupted by You Tube ads.

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