Helena Handbasket

By Tivoli

Gilt trip

A wonderful afternoon in Green Park with my nieces, a picnic and prosecco.

I mentioned this and was advised by one member of the party who knows about these things that spraying painted warnings on the walls of other people's buildings constitutes criminal damage and that drenching people without their consent is common assault. It also has the potential of causing actual bodily harm. All of which are criminal charges.

Shouting, singing, crashing about, vomiting and attempting to open sash windows on the ground floor of the building from the outside however constitute only causing a public nuisance, which is not a criminal offence.
I was advised against proceeding with my plan.

Another member of the assembled party explained that he had experienced similar anti-social behaviour when living in South East London and had regularly doused offenders with a bucket of water. His comment was that those causing a public nuisance are extraordinarily unlikely to lodge a complaint with the police against the individual they have so provoked.

Dilemma.

I have by now cut ready and waiting the stencils for my personal “Banksy”.
The means with which to drench those disturbing my sleep remains currently out of stock.

Comments
Sign in or get an account to comment.