The State of the Nation
Breaking News. The UK Border Force boat is in Peterhead Harbour and a man in a boiler suit is probing its innards. Are we now totally defenceless as well as Parliament-less? We should be told!
Extra. Meanwhile in Newburgh-on-Ythan the village childminders have constructed a splendid Fairy Village in the woodland. Early this morning I was pleased to see that a couple of the local fairies were flying around and inspecting the properties. I guess that they will be moving in very soon.