Gratitude

For the gift of rain, for the perfection of droplets, for the abundance of leaves, for trees, for air and water on the blue-green marble we inhabit and desecrate. For the earth’s survival despite us, so far. For the body’s survival despite us, so far. 

For the kind words left for me by this community of friends on my blip anniversary, best friends I've never met, and some I have. 

For Sue’s attentive kindness and watchfulness. For my son’s texts and phone calls, for the chile relleno Cristina made for me, and for her kind reminders that I should keep calling my doctor and not wait for the office to return my calls. For Bella and Evan on Facetime and my daughter Manko on the phone. 

For more time to be here, more time to love fiercely all that I love, for a heart that never gets a moment’s rest and does its best to keep me going.

This arrythmia continues with flutters and flip-flops; the electrical system seems to be slightly out of whack. Underneath the disturbance, something persists. Some strength holds fast, so far. I'm taking naps when I need them, having occasional sinking spells. I’m not driving a car. Sue is spending days and nights with me until I see the doctor. Those are her hands, offering the thanks I’m feeling.