Happy New Years

Happy New Years

Alrighty, It's been quite a while since I've been on blip.. My life really kinda went terribly downhill over the summer. My ex was abusive, had to be removed by police. Repeatedly. My mom lost the bar, left both mom & I homeless. I finally found a place to move very last minute.

Into school I went, still life out of control. Led myself down quite a few bad choice roads. I assumed I was going to flunk a couple classes, but I passed them all! a freaking miracle.

I wound up letting myself get pretty hurt by a couple guys as well. Even in my attempts to avoid being hurt, by not dating, I still got hurt. :P

But with this fantastic new year, and my content-ness I've found in myself, I'm ok. I deleted a person entirely from my life. I've opened myself up a bit to friends.

& I have no reservations when it comes to my dating life I suppose. I was limiting myself before in the hopes of dating a certain person, but as it seems, they are out of my life. and now, whatever, you know?

It'd be nice to date, but only when I want someone to hang out with, someone to comfort and cuddle. but I don't want it to be too heavy. & I have no fucking clue how to date a person I don't live with. How weird. I don't want anything to shake me again, you know?

I'm ok right now. I've actually been off my welbutrin for quite a while. I can do this, I just can't handle another... set back, emotionally, which is exactly what some fantastic relationship filled with ignorance and lack of communication will bring me, but how do you communicate without terrifying someone? cause I have yet to figure that one out.

today is today. tomorrow is tomorrow. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. So i'm done planning I suppose...

I decided among other things to get back into blip, (working out, eating better, not drinking, yadda yadda yadda)

we'll see how long it lasts.