I've got a turnip in the cupboard

It takes all my wrinkles. Ok, ok, perhaps not all my wrinkles. But some of them. Cause Oil of OIay is a big load of bollocks. And don't get me started on the Clarins thing Mrs Raheny believes in. At ten times the price of the Oil of Olay. Or twenty times the aul Nivea Cream. They can't stop fuck all. 
We get older, full stop. And we get wrinkles, full stop.
But not me, cause I have a turnip in the cupboard.

(The painting in the attic was beyond my means...)