The Dating Game...Duck Edition

The Dating Game was on TV starting in 1965, and continued in some form until 1999. How it stayed on the air for so long...I'll never know. (Insert apology here if you liked the show.)

Jim Lange was the emcee, but he passed away in 2014, so I guess I'll have to be the host of the Duck Edition.. It went something like this:

The female seeking the date is named Darlene the Duck, and the contestants are Bachelor #1, #2, and #3. (They couldn't give their names.)

ME: "Okay Darlene, are you ready to begin your questioning?"

DARLENE: "I sure am. Bachelor #1, if I choose you...tell me your idea of the perfect date."

#1: "Oh yes my darling Darlene. First, we'll sneak up on the swans, and pester them until they chase us off. They're fast, but we're faster...usually. Then, we'll play the bobbing for seaweed game...sticking our feathered butts up into the air to see who can stay down the longest. WOO-HOO!"

DARLENE: "That sounds interesting...weird, but interesting. OK, bachelor #3...same question."

#3: "It's hard to follow that, but I would take you to the other side of the pond and we would wait for a parent and a kid to show up to feed us. After having a bad meal of bread, we would take to the air to dive-bomb some vehicles. My favorites are the black SUV's. Our "white stuff" REALLY shows up on those hoods. WOO-HOO!"

DARLENE: "OK #3, uh...thanks for that." (She then sat there in silence.)

ME: "Um...Darlene...don't you have any more questions? Anything for #2?

DARLENE: "No Sir. I've made my decision. I'll take #2, because there's NO WAY that his idea of a date could be any worse than those last two answers."

ME: "OK Darlene. (Cue the annoying music). Bachelor #2...COME OUT AND MEET DARLENE THE DUCK!"

And so it went. Darlene the Duck, and Darrin the Drake are going on a date. Makes me wonder where they went.