Away with the ferris......

Pharmacy life, in December, is a bleedin' nightmare. We're only closed for 2 days over Christmas, but some patients go into a complete spin, and order every drug they can imagine, whether they need it or not.

However, our lives are occasionally brightened by the arrival of a lunatic....

Today, a very well dressed woman, with the faintest mark on her thumb, asked me, in a posh Edinburgh accent, if I could give her some advice. She had, she said, been 'unexpectedly bitten by Edward in the middle of the night' and what would I recommend?

Interested as I was by her domestic arrangements, I decided not to ask, pointed her towards the antiseptics and advised her to slap some on her scratch wound.

You don't understand, she said, I'm liable to contract a terrible illness!

Are you? I said. Is, erm, Edward unwell?

Well....he's never been completely healthy since he had his bits chopped off, she confided.

(I was starting to get more interested...)

Is Edward perhaps....a dog? I asked.

A dog??? Why on earth would I be bitten by a dog in my room?

I opened my mouth to ask why she'd be bitten by a man in her room, but decided that might be too personal.

Anyway, she continued, what I want to know is this - will I, or will I not, be in danger of catching.....myxomatosis??

Myxomatosis? From a man??

She looked at me as though I was insane.

From a rabbit!!!!! From Edward the bunny!

Reader, there were so many other questions I wanted to ask, but I decided instead to retire to my desk, make a cup of tea, and say a silent prayer for Edward. And his missing bits.....