The choice...

I should probably caveat what follows with the fact that I have been out with some good, good friends this evening and partaken in a few glasses of ale and a surprisingly good cheeky glass of shiraz.
 
Those who know me, know that earlier this year I lost my core, my soul. It was unceremoniously ripped from me against my will and for a time I was cast adrift, lost in a sea of self-reflection and buried under a thick soil of cliché and well meaning, but poorly targeted maxims.
 
In short, this has been an absolute bastard of a year for me, BUT the darkness of which has been repeatedly punctuated with a number of shining beacons of light. In my darkest hour(s), I have discovered that I am surrounded by the best possible bunch of people a chap could wish for.
 
My immediate family have been faultless, selfless with their time, love and guidance and moreover my beautiful, innocent children have instinctively known when Daddy could definitely use a cuddle and I have never felt closer to them.
 
I have never loved anyone so absolutely, completely and purely as I did my second wife. The pain that lies in the knowledge that that this was a one-way deal draws a deep scar which I can’t deny nor hide from.
 
So, where does one go from here? Do I collapse into a pile of unmitigated pain, an inescapable pit of despair? A tunnel of outrage, hatred and bitterness?
 
No.
 
NO.
 
I choose love.
 
I choose to see the positive. I choose to see the light, the best in people. I choose to see that, yeah, today is absolute crap, but I get to start over again tomorrow. I choose to see and seek solace in the comfort of those true friends around me who have taken the time to spend time with me or drop me a note or friendly/encouraging message. I choose to hold those close who in that moment need me to feel their pain more than they feel mine.
 
I choose to live.
 
And to my fellow mental health sufferers, survivors, copers, warriors, call yourself what you will, I say this: you have a choice about where you go from here. It may not be immediately obvious or apparent to you, but trust me: you do have a choice.
 
Right now, I choose to post this picture of me, happy, half-pissed, wearing a bobble hat and sat in front of a Christmas tree decorated by my aforementioned wonderful, infuriating and beautiful offspring.
I choose to post this as a semi-inebriated thank you to all those family and friends who have supported me in any way, shape or form over these past few months. You will never know how much your kind words, time and support have meant to me.
 
Merry Christmas everyone, keep being nice to each other and here’s to whatever the future may hold in store for us all!
 
D.
 
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-536859905 -1073732485 9 0 511 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page WordSection1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 72.0pt 72.0pt 72.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.WordSection1 {page:WordSection1;} --> x