My Two Left Feet

I meet the classiest types on the Dart. 

He gave me a dirty look when he heard me speak in French on the phone (I was trying to keep my voice as low as possible). 
I shot him back a dirty look of my own. 
And I spread my legs too.
And yes, my jeans are constantly worn out and ripped in the testicular region, due to the abrasion inherent to cycling. 
And today I was wearing my boiled-to-death no longer elasticated bottom-of-the-drawer loose boxers...