Jimmy Olsen's Blues

Dear Mr Marvel,

Please find a photo and application to join your Marvel superhero club.

I have been a long time fan of your powdered milk product and can literally eat it by the spoonful, (Sometimes it is a little dry- dare i say claggy...but mixed with normal milk it goes down a treat.)

I see you have expanded your franchise into motion pictures though i have yet to see them, but i believe you have developed a character called Iron Man.

May i credit you on the ingenuity of this and would expect you are developing characters based on the other vitamins and minerals in your excellent product sometime in the near future.

I am sure there will be a Calcium girl character along soon, and possibly a companion called Protein boy or something of that nature.

May i be so bold as to put myself forward as "Mr Suitable for Vegetarians", a superhero who is able to handle trace elements and harness the power of both vitamins A+D with no thought for his own personal safety.

I have taken the liberty of purchasing my own superhero suit and fortunately as both a shoplifter and fetishist am used to wearing neoprene outfits under normal clothes.

I also have bad eyesight so have my own spectacles to form a cunning disguise, and if i may be so bold to suggest my own catchphrase, something along the lines of "water and powder, skimmed milk power..."
(obviously shouted in a strong cinematic voice),

however if you do not like this it is not a deal breaker

Yours faithfully,

Derek Strangelove (Spinster)


Spin Doctors